Sample Lesson Plans for Study Chapters

These are from an AMI chapter in Logan which is studying Dr. Glenn Latham's book "The Power of Positive Parenting," for the next two years. You may copy them for your study chapters, but please attribute the information to Dr. Glenn Latham on each copy made. Thanks!

Lesson #3
Applying Behavioral Principles in the Home and Family
(Based on "The Power of Positive Parenting" by Dr. Glenn Latham)

"…As parents, we have a responsibility to manage, and sometimes control, behavior…" by "…design[ing] a world in which we [our children and ourselves] can behave well", by creating "…a world where we and our children receive immense amounts of positive reinforcement". Louise Latham said, "You're not controlling kids. You are making it easier for them to behave well". This is not a quick-fix, but a gradual change to shaping and managing behavior. Children are learning to be civilized, and often so are we!

THE FIVE PARENTING RULES:

Anyone who ever says parenting is easy, never had children.

Rule 1: Clearly communicate your expectations to your children. This includes clear description of those behaviors which will get your attention. This is typically taught best in a role-playing setting.

• Pay no attention to inconsequential behaviors you don't want repeated, ignore age-related "junk".
• Never tell children something they already know. Let them tell you.
• Don't give attention to any behavior you don't want repeated!
• Agreeing with parental expectations is less important than understanding them.
• Don't be distracted by age-typical, garden-variety, weed behavior.

Rule 2: IGNORE inconsequential behaviors. (Most of the annoying behaviors of children deserve no attention whatsoever.)

• It is better for the messing bedroom that is creating tension to be left a mess than the relationship between the child and the parent to be a mess.
• For whom is the behavior being changed?
• Children will engage in junk behavior over which we as parents have zero control. Therefore it is more important that we focus our attention on bonding the child to us and our family value system than it is to try to force the child to change.
• Be slow to anger. Chinese proverb: "If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow."

Rule 3: Selectively reinforce appropriate behaviors. "…We as parents MUST(!!) be constantly aware of the behaviors of our children and to carefully select and skillfully reinforce those behaviors that should be strengthened.

• Behavior that receives parents' attention is behavior that is strengthened. Ignore all of the distracting, peripheral things going on and focus only on the behavior that is most desirable.
• Look for opportunities to selectively reinforce their behavior while that behavior is occurring. Catch them in the act (of good behavior)!
• Looking for that which is right and appropriate and then attending to it using positive reinforcement while ignoring-whenever possible-inappropriate behavior, is absolutely the best way to go.

Rule 4: Stop then redirect inappropriate behavior (behaviors which left unattended can result in serious damage and harm to person and property.)

• There will be no need for children to behave inappropriately if they are getting all the attention they need by behaving appropriately.
• First, determine if the behavior is predictably reoccurring or uncharacteristic behavior (consistently swearing vs. an uncharacteristic slip when upset).
• Allow cool down time before discussing the behavior. Never try to resolve a problem if a person is drunk, stoned, emotionally distraught, or out of touch with reality.
• Attend only to those behaviors you want strengthened while ignoring whining, complaining, fault finding, and other age-typical garbage language.
• Keep the child actively engaged in the discussion of the problem and exploring of solutions.
• With predictable, reoccurring behaviors, you will likely need to include in your teaching a discussion of consequences.
• Reinforce behaviors that reflect parental expectations
• It is quite possible to solve problems at home and have fun at it.

Rule 5: Stay close to your children.

• The closer parents are to their children the greater influence they can have on them.
• Just talk! (Don't judge, sermonize, moralize, instruct, reason, or advise.)
• Unless what you are about to say or do has a high probability of making things better, don't say it and don't do it.
• End the conversation in a way that leaves the door open: "Thanks for chatting. Love ya".
• Appropriate, clean humor is a characteristic of low-risk families.
• Increase appropriate physical interactions. It is altogether appropriate to accompany every greeting and every parting with a hug and a kiss.
  

Four hugs a day for survival
Eight hugs a day for maintenance
Twelve hugs a day for growth

"Hugging is non-fattening, naturally sweet, and contains no artificial ingredients. It is wholesome and pure and, most important, fully returnable." US Surgeon General

Assignment #1
Monitor your hugging. Using this chart, monitor the hugging in your home and family for one day. Assess the data, make a goal to increase as needed, and note the results.

Assignment #2
For one day, concentrate on ignoring "junk behavior", inconsequential, age-appropriate behavior: behavior that you do not want reinforced. No rolling eyes, dirty looks, warning sounds. Just don't respond at all. Draw yourself a star for each time you ignore, and note the results/reactions.

STARS:

Results:

From Janene Wolsey Baadsgaard: A middle-age woman approached me after I had finished giving a talk to her [church group] and asked, "I have two children at home, two in elementary school, two in junior high school, two in high school, one on a mission, and one married with kids of her own. What does that make me… a mother for all seasons?" "Tired," I replied.