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Sample Lesson Plans for Study Chapters
These are from an AMI chapter in Logan which is studying
Dr. Glenn Latham's book "The Power of Positive Parenting," for
the next two years. You may copy them for your study chapters, but please
attribute the information to Dr. Glenn Latham on each copy made. Thanks!
Lesson #5
A Word About CONSEQUENCES
(Based on "The Power of Positive Parenting" by Dr. Glenn Latham)
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Natural Consequences
- Directly related to the behavior.
- Example: Getting burned from playing with
matches.
- When dealing with natural consequences
parents should not absolve child of their own "responsibility
- regardless of the shortcomings or carelessness of others.
- Let the consequences do the talking for
you do not be harsh, scolding and accusatory.
- Acknowledge child's pain or discomfort
and its relation to what they did. Be compassionate and interested
but do not absolve child from their responsibility.
- Example: "I am sorry you burned
yourself. It must hurt a lot. Let me see what I can do to help.
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Social Consequences
- They make sense but are not directly linked
to the behavior.
- Are often used to teach lessons that would
otherwise be learned only at great risk.
- Example: Denial of TV or phone privileges
for failure to clean one's room; denying the use of a favorite
toy for a week because it was carelessly left outside in the rain.
- They must be nonaversive. "Applying
consequences which involve inflicting pain, unless done therapeutically
in highly controlled clinical settings, is barbaric at worst and
silly at best."
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Guidelines for using consequences
- Consequences must be clearly understood
at the outset by both parents and children.
- It is too easy for children to plead innocence to escape consequences
strengthening the unwanted behavior. After using "I didn't
know I wasn't supposed to…!" and getting away with the
behavior child learns that pleading ignorance allows them to do
what they want.
- In moments of anger and frustration, parents tend to impose unreasonable
and unenforceable consequences (You are grounded for the whole summer,
no use of the telephone, the car, the TV! You will come directly
home from school, go directly to your room, and you can come out
only to eat or when I say you can!! Do you understand? Do you???).
Be precise and consistent.
- Consequences must be Reasonable, and Enforceable.
- "The plaster should be no wider than the sore." Reasonable
consequences neatly fit the offense.
- They should all be carefully thought out before they are stated
or applied, and even then it will be necessary to modify and refine
them as they are being used.
- Decide beforehand what you want to see happen.
- State your expectations to your child making sure he not only
fully understands but can demonstrate the desired behavior.
- Parents should think in terms of consequences
not punishment.
- Consequences can be positive reinforcers, negative reinforcers,
or punishers.
- Because punishment is so efficient and simple, there is danger
that it could become the first and even exclusive treatment. Punishment
is painful and we should have as little pain as possible.
- We need to teach children how to behave
well because they seldom behave well on their own.
- Consequences must be applied with precision,
accuracy and consistency.
- Children develop immunity when we do not apply consequences appropriately.
- Consequences must not be punishing to parents.
- "To preclude this happening, as should be the case with all
consequences, careful forethought should be given to the selection,
administration, and management of consequences."
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